"Divorce Brain" - Cheat Sheet

“Divorce Brain” – Cheat Sheet

When you first meet with a divorce attorney, they will explain the entire process. You will pay close attention. This is important information. You may even take notes. Despite your best efforts, chances are good that you will need it explained again.  This is particularly true because of a phenomenon known as “divorce brain.”

This phenomenon is analyzed in “Divorce can leave lasting marks on the brain,” an article published in Psychology Today on May 31, 2025. “From a neurological perspective, trauma occurs when the brain becomes overwhelmed and unable to process or recover from a disturbing event. Divorce, especially when sudden or high in conflict, can activate the brain’s stress systems in powerful and long-lasting ways.” This stress results in problems with “memory, emotional regulation, and increased vulnerability to future trauma.”

A divorce coach can be an asset, even when you’ve already retained a divorce attorney. First, the hourly rate of a divorce coach is usually significantly less than that of a divorce attorney. If you need someone to explain what “no fault” means more than once, a coach is a more affordable option. A coach can also help you make less emotional decisions, taking the time to analyze your goals and create an actionable plan. You can then take that plan to your attorney, mediator, or court hearing, feeling prepared and focused.

Another way to combat divorce brain is to rely on a cheat sheet. Here is one for the Colorado divorce process:

Colorado Divorce Process Cheat Sheet

•           Residency Requirement: One spouse must have lived in Colorado for at least 91 days before filing for divorce.

•           Grounds for Divorce: Colorado is a no-fault divorce state. The marriage must be “irretrievably broken” with no chance of reconciliation.

•           Step 1: File Petition
File a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage with the district court in the county where you or your spouse resides. This includes filling out required forms and paying a filing fee.

•           Step 2: Serve Divorce Papers
The other spouse must be served with the divorce papers by a process server, sheriff, or an adult not involved in the case.

•           Step 3: Response Period
The served spouse has 21 days (if in Colorado) or 35 days (if out-of-state) to respond to the petition.

•           Step 4: Financial Disclosures
Both spouses exchange detailed financial information including income, assets, debts, and expenses within 42 days after the petition is served.

•           Step 5: Initial Status Conference
Within 42 days, parties attend an initial status conference with the court or a family court facilitator to set timelines and discuss issues.

•           Step 6: Temporary Orders Hearing
Temporary orders may be issued regarding child custody, child support, spousal support, or other matters until the divorce is finalized.

•           Step 7: Discovery
In contested cases, written discovery (interrogatories, document requests) may be exchanged to gather additional information.

•           Step 8: Mediation
Courts usually require mediation to encourage settlement before trial on unresolved issues such as custody and property division.

•           Step 9: Permanent Orders Hearing/Trial
If parties cannot agree, the court holds a hearing or trial where a judge makes final decisions on contested issues.

•           Step 10: Decree of Dissolution
After the 91-day waiting period from the date of service passes and all issues are resolved, the court enters the final divorce decree officially ending the marriage.

If you’d like a cheat sheet for the divorce process in your home state, let me know!

Amy